What I’m excited about:

I’m struggling with excitement right now. My anxiety had been very high. It’s difficult to get excited when everything feels like a lion in the room.

What I’ve learned:

I’ve learned I do need some deadlines. It’s amazing the amount that gets finished on that last day.

What I’m working on:

More jewelry and Etsy updates.

What I’m excited about:

I’m trying a variation of THIS 8-week schedule. Instead of 8 weeks, I’m doing six weeks of productive routine, and one week of play. It’s not exactly a vacation, because I’m still spending my usual scheduled time on business.

I almost skipped my week of play, because I lost so much time to illness. To be perfectly honest, I was also shoring up my mental defenses. Both writing and visual art require a certain amount of vulnerability. For a few weeks there, I wasn't up for it.

As I thought about skipping it, I realized if I didn’t start giving myself the scheduled time for play, I wouldn’t trust myself to be a good boss.

So! I experimented with Mod Podge and read up on some fun skills. I toyed with ways to reuse old paintings and played with fountain pen inks. My fingers are stained and I love it.

Now, I’m really looking forward to going back to painting!

What I’ve learned:

I’m learning how to give myself permission. Permission to play with creativity, to give my brain time to cast nets far and wide and wildly missing where I thought the water was.

Permission to move forward.

Permission to act like I have permission.

I’ve learned that there are all manner of unexpected ways I’m waiting for permission, and I don’t even know it. Journaling helps.

Hello, I’m Abigail and I’m an early career visual artist in New York state with a full-time job and a love of writing. I try to explore personal growth and nostalgia in my work.

2018 was The Year of Transition. And I did learn a metric overload in a year. I also had a migraine for about 8 weeks, discovered the joys of reusing old artwork, and met some amazing people. I thought through sharing my work I’d be able to communicate all the new things I experienced.

But you know what? Blogging exists for a reason.

I’m not sure what 2019 will be. The Year of Pretending I Know What I’m Doing? The Year I Admit I’m Really Freaking Tired? The Year of Reaching Out?

I do know I want to do a better job of communicating.

What I’m excited about:

I found glass cabochon jewelry kits that are all owls. 100% owls. Just owl pendants all over the place.

I’m excited to start assembling them with the ominous pile of watercolors that went wrong. Some paintings can be salvaged. Some are destined to be owls.

What I’ve learned:

It really helps me to have a deadline looming. In this case, I’ve been accepted as a vendor at FC3, and there’s nothing like the fear of not having enough blobbily spirits, unicorn manatees, and miniature mars landscapes to get a woman moving.

Also, morning pages and therapy are the bee's knees.

I don’t know if anyone out there needs to hear this, but your feelings are valid and you have permission to go to therapy even if “other people have it worse.” Take care of yourself already.

What I’m working on next:

As soon as I can crack the window open for a couple days I’ll be testing out paste wax medium.